3 comments on “One of the Guys: It’s Not What You Think It Is

  1. “Are you a woman or a blacksmith?” “Sometimes I’m both.”
    I knew more examples in my real life than I’ve seen in pop media, sadly. I was an odd reversal: I spent most of high school as one of the girls, which didn’t require being soft-spoken or effeminate (or even a decent dresser). You’re right: it’s the equivalent of the friend zone, with all the good and bad that entails.
    While it’s a god-awful movie, the redheaded friend in Can’t Hardly Wait is pretty close. Weirdly, all the examples I know of are either ex-girlfriends of someone in the cast or widows, like the only way a woman can be a non-sexual entity in a friendly context is if there’s some other blocker to her entering a relationship with the male cast members.

  2. Yes! I pretty much love every scene she has. Occasionally I want to watch that movie because I love the side characters, but then I remember how much I want to punch the main couple in the face, so never mind. Do they make a Director’s Cut?
    It’s a weird experience, eh? And I bet you didn’t spend your time taking bubble baths with these ladies, unlike what the movies would like us to believe. ;)
    You’re absolutely right about the necessity for a ‘blocker’ in most contexts, which is why I think true ‘one of the guys/girls’ situations are so rare without one. I personally am wired differently to most people, so I don’t need that blocker myself, and apparently that comes through into my friendships (pheromones? ha), because I’ve never had a problem being in 100% mutual-no-sexual-interest friendships with guys. It’s an interesting sociological study, I think.

  3. Same here XD well, mostly. I didn’t get to the whole feminist thing until closer to when I was leaving for uni. Home is about twenty years behind the rest of the world, and rather conservative. It caused some conflict when I was suddenly kicking up a fuss instead of joining in.
    One of the guys, but doesn’t end up dating one of them? Still stumped!
    Also one of our guys in the group was hitting on me pretty seriously. I was only about 15, very shy, and much younger than this dude. I remember feeling betrayed that nobody would defend me. I thought shrugging touches off, moving my seat, and shrinking away would be enough to convey my D: over the whole thing :P when I complained to my brother his response was ‘well what did you expect?’

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