5 comments on “Women are “Picky”; Men Have “Standards” — How Hypocrisy Hurts Everyone

  1. Well said. I am so tired of the feminazi/man-hater comments I just say yes, yes I am, though the terms are utterly unreasonable and ridiculous. Whatevs!
    You keep doing what you do lady. :D

  2. I’m really relieved I haven’t had to have that conversation with any relatives since I graduated; it was a waste of time to try discussing it with them so I just used the “Well I’m focussing on my studies now :D SOOOOO how are things with you?” deflection.
    This post by Catherynne Valente touches on a parallel point, how marriage is supposed to be so awesome for women and so *awful* for men, and then examining the traditional/expected breakdown of labour. Argh. http://yuki-onna.livejournal.com/590755.html
    Several girls I was in residence with at Uvic *actually did* the dumbing-self-down thing so they wouldn’t ‘scare’ guys off. Why do you *want* someone who wishes you were less than them so much that if they *knew* who you were they’d ditch you? Why is that worth the work?
    Boy this is getting long, but I once had a total stranger ask me why I was sitting by myself, and while I don’t remember what my response was, he drew back like I’d spat on him and said, “You’re not a *feminist*, are you?”. It went downhill from there. Bit of a digression but that attitude is worryingly prevalent.
    There’s a quote that struck me, though I can’t remember where I got it; “You accept the love you think you deserve.” If you don’t think you can attract the sort of person you want *and* you think you’re a failure as a person if you’re single *and* that all of this will be your fault, you’ll do things you aren’t comfortable with to remain in the relationship because it’s ‘better than being alone’. On the flip side is an article I wish I could re-find, how up to a certain age men tend to date women their friends would be attracted to whether they, themselves, are attracted to that ‘type’ or not, because it’s all about the bragging rights and making the buddies jealous.
    I don’t want to be settled for; I wouldn’t do that to anyone else.
    Sometimes I think it’d be nice to date, but oy. I just can’t handle the layers of falseness, and I’m not just talking about the expected amounts of cosmetics :/

  3. Stassja: Yeah, I get accused of being a man-hater a lot, exacerbated by the fact that I don’t sleep with them as a whole, so I *must* hate them. Or something, I don’t even know. I just keep pulling out the “this hurts men, too” card, which helps (if they’re reasonable) or doesn’t make it worse, anyway (if they’re not).
    Rattyfleef: I used to tell people that Jesus called me to celibacy. It was such an awkward-producing answer that it shut most people up.
    I’ve seen the Valente post, and it’s so true! I even hear it here in Japan, where joking about how terrible marriage is for husbands — and how it’s de rigeur to treat your wife terribly, and that husbands and wives never communicate — is commonplace. It’s just as true back home. And older generations wonder why the younger ones don’t want to get married? Come on.
    I haven’t gotten the “you’re not a FEMINIST, are you?” but a guy at the bus stop once saw Tammy reading a sociology textbook and said “you’re not a LESBIAN, are you? because that would be such a waste”. I don’t even remember the response, other than lots of facepalming.
    Carrie: Thanks!

  4. Ahahah that’s a good answer :D I’ll probably just keep employing the usual Fleef Avoidance Techniques ;)
    Was linkfollowing randomly and I found this: http://apiphile.tumblr.com/post/3720951518/combatbrodom-apiphile-combatbrodom
    Also ‘that’s such a waste’ comment must come from the most self-centered and arrogant mental space. Because THE ONLY REASON *any given woman* would NOT want him is if she is into the ladies. Because bisexuals don’t exist and he is the perfect carbon-based life-form. *sigh*
    You get that attitude a lot in the Caribbean. I woudn’t dare wear one of the ‘proud to be single’ shirts because every one of them who saw it would nod and think, Challenge accepted.
    Lastly, http://shakespearessister.blogspot.com/2009/08/man-haterz.html
    “Survey reports that feminists display less hostility to men than non-feminists”

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