6 comments on “Writing: The “Win Her Back” Plotline — When Did Stalking Become Romantic?

  1. Of course stalking is creepy, but girls are also extremely flattered if a guy will do anything for them (and visa-versa of course) That’s the egotistical nature of people and that’s what the serenading under the window is about. When does it become stalking? Well, that’s a fine line somewhere.
    Respect is necessary for a long term romance, but there’s also a certain “thrill” factor in early romance, which is why our culture is obsessed with it. And respect hardly makes a fun movie(^^)

  2. Well said! I absolutely agree. In real life, there’s always been an automatic response with me if someone I was interested in missed the bus on furthering our potential relationship: pitch the fella! I don’t know if it’s more of a self-preservation instinct than a meditated choice, but I never understood the idea of winning someone back. If they were worth being with then you’d both be winners already. I think if someone”s rejected, they shouldn’t kill their dignity by crawling back in creative ways. I like your ideas on this for sure :) and I couldn’t help but be giddy when I saw your Better Off Dead reference, because when I first started reading this post, that is the movie thst came to mind… but in a good way! Definitely one of my favorite movies ever :)

  3. Mr. L — Girls are flattered to a point. The problem is that some men think they’ll be flattered by EVERYTHING. It’s creepy when the girl’s “no” gets ignored, and because so many men are conditioned to think that “no” is just “convince me”, these men think they know better about what the women are wanting or thinking than the women themselves. That’s where the line is.
    Shannon — Better Off Dead gets a gold star for me by showing how creepy the protagonists in other movies are, while being hilarious, to boot! And you’re absolutely right — someone who keeps trying to “win” someone back shows not only a lack of respect for the other party, but himself as well!

  4. I love this post. It had me laughing out loud in the coffee shop, which got me a few odd looks but meh… I’m ok with that.
    It’s scary how many attitudes and behaviors that RL considers illegal, immoral, or creepy become favorable traits in books and movies. I sit back sometimes and marvel at Hollywood’s ability to make us cheer for the hitmen, thieves, cheaters and stalkers. But I have to give them credit for the writing, they spin their web and we fall right in.

  5. I absolutely don’t mind movies based on thieves or con artists or whatnot, because it’s always acknowledged that they’re not doing “the right thing”, and oftentimes we have a negative authority figure who (subjectively) deserves it. Also, usually in caper films there’s an element of recompense somewhere. Leon in “The Professional” is entirely sympathetic by the end; the protagonists of “The Sting” also.
    I think the problem with the stalker-plot is that it’s not how these men are portrayed. If it acknowledged they were behaving inappropriately and made an attempt to come to terms with that, then I might be able to deal. But it rarely does. It’s also why movies where the nice guy helps his douchey friend seduce the nice girl (falling for her in the process) are still icky, but a little less so — he usually gets called on it and there’s usually a fight, even if she relents eventually. The “win her back” thing is pretty much just the medieval “power of the gaze” updated for our society.

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