2 comments on “Modern Fiction Lament: Where Have All the Friendships Gone?

  1. I am so glad I stumbled on this blog! And I agree with everything you said. When I was younger I found female friendships difficult to cultivate. I couldn’t relate to girls my own age. Now, it’s the women in my life who are my rocks when life is crazy. My man is also amazing and wonderful and I am blessed to have strength in both.
    But you’re right, when I consider my WIPs and past work, that is lacking as well. Even though I hate the stereotype and do not discuss shoes.
    So thank you for this. Well written, well thought and well received.

  2. When I was a girl, I had one or two very close female friends, but I kept distance between the others. I couldn’t relate to them very well, but even worse, they were always fighting and turning their backs on each other. Every week we’d get the update: “X is friends with Y now, but not friends with Z anymore, and A and B are fighting and C is on A’s side and D is on B’s and you have to pick –”
    It wasn’t until I was out of high school that this sort of behaviour stopped, and I have to wonder how much is endemic to being a girl (people want us to believe all of it) and how much is learned? I, at least, was told from childhood that girl friendships are impermanent and mercurial, and I’m bet I wasn’t the only one. Boys can punch each other and they’re fine; girls have to endure weeks of silent treatment and cattiness. And more than that, I don’t think we’re taught HOW to negotiate conflict.
    The realization that my own work was lacking these very friendships was a wake-up call for me. I’ve had a few discussions since about the sorts of friendships I’d like to see, and it makes me want to write them. Hurrah!

Comments are closed.